Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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