Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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