whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
