how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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