i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
