i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So vagazzling was a success
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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