Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
