There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
