It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
