sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
