He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
