Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
