I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
