This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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