I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
