Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you never un-have a 4some
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
