hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wanna bring you to show and tell
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
