OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
