Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
