Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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