I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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