p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
