That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
