Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
only you would photoshop your dick
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
