you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Shame is for Republicans.
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