C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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