The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Farmville is her only friend.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
