We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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