I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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