My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
