so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
