R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
