i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize