I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
no, he came in my armpit
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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