on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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