it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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