HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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