i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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