Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
