Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
