I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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