but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
