remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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