you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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