yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
