i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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