No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
