someone owes me an orgasm
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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