The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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