New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize