I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
