You just made me feel so damn special
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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