morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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