saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
and you fell through a lawn chair
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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