If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A+ Viking dick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
