I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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