Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Found your dick twin last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
