In the future we'll all be gay
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
