i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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