Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
