Please, let me fuck your mom
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
